It is time to register so all of our friends and family will know what this wonderful child will need in the future. The time has come for.... BABIES "R" US! Which is Wal-Mart for parents.
The main problem with this store is when you go to Wal-Mart you generally have some idea of what you want. We do NOT know what we want. We have limited friends who have children in the area so we decide we REALLY have a problem.
WAIT solution in sight. A lady with a BABY! AHHHHHH!!!!! inside information. We latch to her. Excuse me, we are registering for our child and would like some advice.
NOTE: I'm walking around with a pregnant wife. I have a scan gun in my hand. She gives me a look like really? Your registering? You mean you and your wife are not stocking the shelves?
No it is a key chain not a scan gun, really!
The lady looks panicked. She is busy. Baby is crying. Strangers are excited to ask her about baby. OK maybe we just found the wrong person.
We pick out some things we deem essentials. We scan them. We leave feeling like we are responsible adults, and then.....
We check consumer reports. The things we picked out are on recall, deemed useless by parents, dangerous, or perfect for harming your child in a myriad of ways. We stink at picking stuff out.
The car seat has been recalled. The Pack n Play has a slight problem of collapsing around your bundle of joy. The baby monitor has a range of 10 feet.
WE NEED HELP. A desperate plea to the Internet for sane mothers to help us. Wait business idea.... Askafreakingmom.com. Staffed by actual moms.
Long story short. We are not done and we need to go back. Numerous times, apparently (I cannot wait). I have so much to offer in a conversation about which breast pump would be comfortable. I demand more male product testing. Instead they just look at me like I'm crazy.
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