Honey, I think I have contractions..

That was how Friday morning started.  "Oh ok how far apart",  I ask.  Well long time like 20 minutes etc.  "Wow sounds kind of frequent",  I say.

I take a shower and am headed into work.  I come downstairs and say how far apart now.  Oh like 7 minutes.  The magic number for those not in the know is 5 minutes apart.  I think well maybe I'll stay for a minute.

More contractions... I'm working from home.. More contractions is everything ok?

Long story short we are headed to the hospital to get checked out.

At the hospital they inform my wife that labor might very well be starting but still not major or big enough for us to be concerned about. The nurse says go walk around you'll have a baby in no time.  Nurse as we walk out of the office says..... "Go to the mall, walk up and down the stairs and you'll go into labor."  We decide to do this since shopping (from previous posts) makes me light up like a bright shining star.  Off to the mall, the doctor prescribed it.

We walk around the mall for a bit and I am staring at every single 12-15 year old girl dressed like a hooker.  I am now actively warning tiny unborn Eva that outfits from various stores will never be acceptable.  I also am thinking about how I hate Mylee Cyrus.  No idea why just do not like that creature.

Ericka decides she needs makeup for the photos after the birth.  We go into the makeup store and they proceed to get her tone right.  I do not know if you knew this but it all starts with the skin tone base color.  Get that step wrong and you are criticized in department stores across the land.

We go home.  Ericka proceeds to tell me she wants to get a pedicure and she really needs to dye her hair.  I am like WTF is going on here.  We are not headed to dinner with the governor.  We are headed to have a child which from all accounts is not the cleanest of situations.

Ericka dyes her hair and washes it out and claims....My water broke.  OK water broke time to go to hospital.  Gotta get to hospital... I WAS WRONG.

I want to eat lunch and finish my hair.  I want to call someone about work and send 900 e-mails about closing the books.  I want to make sure I have all my face creams and new make up.  I want to order room service and make a Hindu sand drawing.  I want to waste time.

I get her into the car we go to hospital.  She is in active labor.  We go to the hospital to check in.